November's Marginalia: Confession of a Shopaholic

Are you a shopaholic like me? Do you like, no, LOVE shopping? Do you gain pleasure from shopping?

High fives if you are/do!

Although there is no fiction/non-fiction book written individually about us, basically the same principle applies to each one of us; we see things we need, we tend to buy it. We see things we don't need, we internally vacillate, we change our belief to make them look like we need em', then we end up buying them. For example, these kinda cheap things:

And when you're home chilling with your cup of coffee (the coffee you just bought 5 minutes ago because previously you were not coffee lover), you're scheming and listing your next shopping list and then suddenly a smile creeps on your lips and your heart says 'Mission is still unaccomplished'.

We are known as 'shopaholics' for a, or several bona fide reasons. We feel amazing as we spend our money. It brightens our mood! That is what we are. That is what I am.

I am a shopaholic

Before allowance came in all I thought of was

SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING 

and all I could do was WINDOW SHOPPING to ease the crave

Then, when the nearly-a-month-delayed allowance is finally in, all I want to do is

SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING 

But at the same time I'm striving against my desire to shop. Well I had the privilege to shop insouciantly for a day and a night a couple of days ago but now I must stop, or eventually must stop. Based on my own terrible experience, to be economically insouciant is devilish! But hey, I'm going for a shopping spree in London, if God wills it, next month. Hopefully my salary would support my obsession at that time. I hope I would spend less of my allowance on shopping and more on books, which is, beneficial shopping. *angelic smile* But seriously, I hope I would.

I begin to feel guilty and guiltier of spending free money on selfish things. Some say we are wasting government's money. Some say we deserve the privilege because we studied hard during our school years so this is our reward. Some say for us to receive such amount of money can't be helped because it's the UK visa qualification that determines the amount of money we get and if they raise the minimum qualification, we have extra for our savings. Minority remains indifferent. (I feel like I'm doing a presentation on statistics here, without the actual statistics).

However I have my own stand despite the guilt; if I spend more money I ought to be even more responsible in my study. I have to improve my academic performance. I have to make everything worth it. I will find a way to repay my government. One of them is to be a teacher in public schools. Another, is to improve Malaysia's workforce (might be too ambitious) by being a teacher, if God wills it.

So yeah, everyone has different views and opinions. And I realise this is moving away from the initial point of this entry =.=;; I better stop.

Sincerely yours

Pinku no Ichigo Yuki (Rai)